See also "Avril Lavigne & Nickelback, Diarrhea-Flavored Mouthwash, Four Other Gross Marriages."

OK, this Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger engagement thing has gone too far.

At first, it seemed fun. Or at least, an efficient way for a vengeful Old Testament god to smite them both with a single bolt of lightning. But now it has become less laughable than disturbing, like receiving repeated obscene phone call from Fozzie Bear.

At her recent fashion show (She's a designer? Quick! Someone get Jose Reyes a job giving bus tours of Tuscany because, um, what?!?), Lavigne made it known to people of all races, religions, and creeds that she will be creating her own wedding dress and that it will be "badass." For realsies? It's important to have something in common with a mate, but Geiger-counter-melting levels of horribleness is generally something to avoid. However, Avril Lavigne and the Nickelback guy don't seem to realize that they are behind some of the most nakedly depressing sounds since your grandmother's heart monitor flatlined.

Fashion Week is hectic and no one must have had time to mention to Avril that she and the Nickelback guy are not quite "badass." Either that or the pool reporter tailing Lavigne this election season made a typo and what she really said is that her dress will be bad-comma-ass.

It's possible that the couple, who are making Sheriff Joe Arpaio turn his back on Mexico and start looking towards Canada, know just what a gut-churning match they are; like the parasite-eating shrimp that symbiotically coexist with moray eels, they have have come to terms with being made for each other. But what about us? Can't we be spared this nonsense? This is Avril's grand plan:

"It might be something that I buy a few different dresses and rip them up and put them all together and dye them."

Suddenly her music makes a little more sense, doesn't it?

When we bumped into model and Mary Charteris at London Fashion Week last September, she had just got engaged to The Big Pink's Robbie Furze and revealed that she was on the hunt for cocktail dresses uk
.With eccentric heiress and fashion collector Daphne Guinness for an aunt, we assumed that she wouldn't be going down the classic Jasper Conran route, but who could have imagined that Pam Hogg's collection of sheer catsuits, with only minute, strategically-placed panels to preserve the wearer's modesty, would have inspired a wedding gown?

But inspire they did, and the Earl of Wemyss's daughter revealed a lot more than your average bride as she tied the knot in front of family and friends on September 1 at Stanway House, the family's pile in Gloucestershire. Rumours are circulating that Charteris, 24, gave Hogg complete creative control over the gown, and did not see the result until the eve of her big day.

READ: Mary Charteris for Louis Vuitton

Yellow-haired Pam Hogg could be seen dutifully ruffling the tiered, netted train as model and DJ Mary approached the church arm in arm with her father, her navel on show as satin, triangle-shaped sections patchworked upon the transparent bodice concealed her shoulder blades, breasts and hips - just about.

The assembled guests - a fashion-centric crowd including models Poppy Delevingne and Georgia Jagger, singers Florence Welch and Lily Allen and actress Jaime Winstone - as well as Aunt Daphne, seemingly didn't bat an eyelid at her less than traditional look. Conversely, Charteris' white satin Nicholas Kirkwood heels and fine veil provided standard bridal finishing touches.

IN PICTURES: The most stylish brides of the year

"Wild, wonderful, magical mayhem..." tweeted Poppy Delevingne after the big day, although it's not clear whether she was referring to the occasion or the bridal gown...

A?Norwalk woman, accused of threatening her ex-boyfriend's new wife, and breaking into her house to steal her bridesmaid dresses uk
, pleaded not guilty to the charges Thursday.

Felicia Langley, 32, of 53 Glasser St., appeared for arraignment at state Superior Court in Norwalk to face charges of third-degree burglary, fourth-degree larceny, conspiracy, disorderly conduct, second-degree threatening and second-degree harassment.

Police say Langley began threatening her ex-boyfriend's new wife in late July when she learned about the couple's recent marriage.

Langley would incessantly call the woman's cell phone and leave threatening messages on her voicemail, police said.

She also showed up to the victim's house unannounced on several occasions, and sent her threatening messages on the social networking site Facebook.

According to police, Langley broke into the victim's Lexington Avenue apartment on August 2 and stole over $2,000 worth of jewelry and electronics. She also stole the victim's $1,200 pink bridesmaid dresses
, police said.

Court records show that Langley eluded to the break-in when she left threatening messages on the victim's voicemail.

Langley is being held in lieu of $50,000 bond and will appear in court again Sept. 19.

Rochelle Humes wore this Hawaiian print bodycon dress when out and about in Santa Monica, LA.

The light blue dress has an amazing symmetrical floral print.

She added an oversized red clutch bag and nude wedges for an easy style.

Rochelle kept her makeup to a minimum for a fresh-faced look and wore her waved hair in a simple ponytail.

Rochelle Wiseman

Rochelles dress is the Cameron blue print jersey bodycon lace wedding dresses
from Celeb Boutique (109.99).

But weve found this much cheaper version from Lipsy (45), so you can get her look!

The Lattice Back long evening dresses
has the same kind of Hawaiian inspired print as Rochelles dress.

Lipsy dress

Keep your accessories simple like Rochelle for a chic summer style.

What do you think? Comments please!

THE edict came with the invitation. Guests were to wear bright colors, and not just any, but orange, aqua, chartreuse and fuchsia. Well, the best parties always have some vision and control. And for Rush Philanthropic Arts, a foundation for disadvantaged children and artists that held its annual benefit at the East Hampton home of Russell Simmons on Saturday, who would argue?

I think guests appreciate a little nudge and direction, said David Negri, a designer of the event in a sherbet-hued Lilly Pulitzer suit. They dont have to worry about what to wear.

But that doesnt mean they didnt think it through. Many who had paid $1,500 for the extensive tented dinner came as directed, rushing in the rain and dripping with color past a lawn of manic mimes in appropriately tinted body leotards that reinforced the theme.

Mariah Carey, an honoree with Nick Cannon, her husband, wore regulation fuchsia. Melanie Fiona, who sang before dinner, was in party-approved teal blue slacks, a raspberry blouse and carried a screaming yellow handbag. I knew I had to put it all together for tonight, she said.

State Senator Malcolm A. Smith wore an orange golf shirt under a dark blazer with a matching orange pocket square. I bet you wont be wearing that again, a guest told him.

You just might be right, he said with a laugh.

Not everyone followed the nights edict. Star Jones wore a champagne colored cocktail dress of sequins. She couldnt find it in chartreuse? No, but its bright and sparkly and thats how I roll, she said. Joseph Simmons (a k a Rev Run) the hosts younger brother, wore ministerial black with a white clerical collar.

Anita Baker, who sang after dinner, wore basic black, too. She didnt get the memo, but her colorful voice makes up for it, said Mr. Negri, the party designer who had filled 90 tables with handmade color-coded centerpieces and had overseen the painting of 800 rental chairs in colors that would dismay most hosts.

Russell Simmons ran around in a beige suit and less-than-eye-popping blue checked shirt. I didnt get an outfit together because Ive had so much on my mind, he said.

Oh? What could be more urgent than dressing for his partys theme? How about peace in the Middle East through the Foundation for Ethnic Understanding. He is the chairman. I just got back from Israel, he said. Were working on an international project that gets imams to speak in synagogues and rabbis to speak in mosques.

Give that man a pass on the prom dress code. His older brother, Danny Simmons, an artist, made up for him anyway by wearing a custom-made shirt full of multicolored dots. It dazzled.

So did the live auction that Ms. Jones led, which brought the funds raised for the evening to almost $2 million. The crowd went bonkers when she gleefully shrieked they had reached their goal.

The only color that really matters at a party for a good cause? The color of money.